A gathering place for Kulkas and those who were once Kulkas but due to unfortunate circumstances have had to accept life's curve ball and begin going by some other name.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
The Sleeping Giant
Our last entry was titled "The Sleeping Giant Awakens" I am wondering if it is now time to compose the last rites for the Kulka Sleeping Giant's final sleep. If so, what should the tombstone read? If not, WAKE UP, FAMILY.
Well, I do have a story. I have just completed quilting 2 tops which had been made in the 1890's. The family had kept them, knew of the ancestor who had made them, and even had a photo of the maker with her two little neices. In the photo Lettie is shown with a stern expression on her face, and hair pulled back so tightly on her head as to make me wonder if her forehead hurt.
The young lady who brought them to me to quilt shared Lettie's story. She was the oldest of 7 children. Her mother died when the youngest was 3 years old. Lettie then took on the role of serving the family. She never married, and raised not only her siblings, but also took on teaching her nieces how to cook, braid rugs, and make quilts. In spite of being a stern taskmaster, she was well loved by her nieces and, I am guessing, by her siblings.
My question is, would someone in the same situation today be willing to give up all idea of marrying, in order to take care of her father and the rest of the family? Should they? Did she sacrifice herself unnecessarily, or was this a wonderful way to spend her life?
By the way, her one indulgence was to spoil that youngest son rotten. When he grew up, he was lucky to find a wife who would continue to indulge his every want. He preferred doughnuts for breakfast, so she made them fresh for him every morning!
Western Sage asks: "My question is, would someone in the same situation today be willing to give up all... to take care of... the family?"
I think we Americans are a little too selfish to be counted on for this. However, I'll bet there are scads of third world people who do it. I've seen documentaries of South American children who lose their parents to drugs and violence and end up housing their siblings in a cardboard box in an alley and spending their days scrounging food and clothing for them. With the death rate in Africa, there must be an awful lot of orphaned children doing the same.
American children may rise to the occasion, but because of the privileges in this country, the task isn't nearly as difficult. For instance, Bev's folks divorced when she was nine years old. The children stayed with her mom who, while holding down a job, also went back to college to get her degree. Bev ended up taking care of her younger brother and sister, but it was a matter of babysitting them in a modern, safe house -- heating up TV dinners for them, washing dishes, making sure they bathed and had clean clothes. Difficult for a person of that age, to be sure, but she didn't have to give her life away.
Back to Lettie, my hat goes off to her. But I don't think it was a matter of giving up her life. She may have always wanted a man and a family. She simply inherited a ready-made set. Surely she loved her father and siblings, and simply stepped in and became the wife (aside from certain intimacies of course), mother and homemaker. I have a feeling she was very fulfilled in all of this.
It interested me that in the photograph one can see deep frown lines between her eyebrows. Not a happy face. But in those days the subject had to sit very still for quite a while for the picture to be made. And as someone said, maybe her hair was pulled back so sternly because people didn't wash their hair very often. Maybe it was simply oily.
Or maybe she spent years longing for a man of her own. Bev had to fill in for her family, but it did not last past her younger years. Hettie's role lasted a lifetime. I don't know what I would have done.
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So, Western Sage, tell us what's new with you. Got a quilt show coming up? Got a story about a quilt show -- or a quilt?
Well, I do have a story. I have just completed quilting 2 tops which had been made in the 1890's. The family had kept them, knew of the ancestor who had made them, and even had a photo of the maker with her two little neices. In the photo Lettie is shown with a stern expression on her face, and hair pulled back so tightly on her head as to make me wonder if her forehead hurt.
The young lady who brought them to me to quilt shared Lettie's story. She was the oldest of 7 children. Her mother died when the youngest was 3 years old. Lettie then took on the role of serving the family. She never married, and raised not only her siblings, but also took on teaching her nieces how to cook, braid rugs, and make quilts. In spite of being a stern taskmaster, she was well loved by her nieces and, I am guessing, by her siblings.
My question is, would someone in the same situation today be willing to give up all idea of marrying, in order to take care of her father and the rest of the family? Should they? Did she sacrifice herself unnecessarily, or was this a wonderful way to spend her life?
By the way, her one indulgence was to spoil that youngest son rotten. When he grew up, he was lucky to find a wife who would continue to indulge his every want. He preferred doughnuts for breakfast, so she made them fresh for him every morning!
Western Sage asks: "My question is, would someone in the same situation today be willing to give up all... to take care of... the family?"
I think we Americans are a little too selfish to be counted on for this. However, I'll bet there are scads of third world people who do it. I've seen documentaries of South American children who lose their parents to drugs and violence and end up housing their siblings in a cardboard box in an alley and spending their days scrounging food and clothing for them. With the death rate in Africa, there must be an awful lot of orphaned children doing the same.
American children may rise to the occasion, but because of the privileges in this country, the task isn't nearly as difficult. For instance, Bev's folks divorced when she was nine years old. The children stayed with her mom who, while holding down a job, also went back to college to get her degree. Bev ended up taking care of her younger brother and sister, but it was a matter of babysitting them in a modern, safe house -- heating up TV dinners for them, washing dishes, making sure they bathed and had clean clothes. Difficult for a person of that age, to be sure, but she didn't have to give her life away.
Back to Lettie, my hat goes off to her. But I don't think it was a matter of giving up her life. She may have always wanted a man and a family. She simply inherited a ready-made set. Surely she loved her father and siblings, and simply stepped in and became the wife (aside from certain intimacies of course), mother and homemaker. I have a feeling she was very fulfilled in all of this.
It interested me that in the photograph one can see deep frown lines between her eyebrows. Not a happy face. But in those days the subject had to sit very still for quite a while for the picture to be made. And as someone said, maybe her hair was pulled back so sternly because people didn't wash their hair very often. Maybe it was simply oily.
Or maybe she spent years longing for a man of her own. Bev had to fill in for her family, but it did not last past her younger years. Hettie's role lasted a lifetime. I don't know what I would have done.
I'd have sold the lot to Gypsies and used the money to move somewhere else.
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